Monthly Archives: February 2013

Maladaptive Day Dreaming

Have you ever just sat on a desk or laid in bed for hours without realizing it because you were Day Dreaming? I have.

This has been going for over two years now. Originally, I thought I was suffering from ADD or something in that manner. But, I have done my research, and this is 100% real and people actually are suffering from this.

What is MDD? Well, it’s simply the action of day dreaming constantly without realizing how much time is passing by. Many times, the dreams are very complex and detailed. Most of the times, you just look like you’re in a daze. Now, people with MDD aren’t mentally ill. They don’t exchange realities with their dreams and they don’t act them out or anything. They’re not crazy. haha I’m not crazy.

How does this happen to me? Well a quick demonstration:

Today, I went to high point coffee to get some coffee and read for my Cell biology class. Pretty normal stuff. I get my coffee, sit on the table, and open my book. As I’m reading, I look at my surroundings and it being the “love” month.. I noticed a lot of lovey dovey couples everywhere.. and I get a thought.. Hmm, I wish I had a significant other. — Now normal people would have just sighed and finished reading the book or something.. but no, not me. My mind didn’t stop there. It continued on making a scenario. I began to picture, if I did have a significant other, what would he look like.. so as my scene is playing in my head, this person’s appearance is constantly changing.. then, how would we meet? and so on and so on… this went on for a whole good hour. Can you believe that? Damn.

Now, that’s just a very simple example of what happens during MDD, I do this a lot, very constantly. I would day dream of me doing and being anything I could put my mind to. A super star, a singer, musician, skydiving, even being in the library studying. It all begins with ONE thought. And kaboom, the movie starts playing. The problem is that it goes on for hours. Not just a few minutes. Anything triggers my imagination to have these long hours of daydreaming. Then, I snap out of it, and continue doing what I was suppose to do. It’s really crazy.

Unfortunately, this is a new subject being studied, and as of today.. Not many are aware of it, or is there medications for it. But, it is real. I am living proof it is. So, if you suffer from this, you are not alone. And notice that I did say ‘suffer’. I say this because… It disrupts my life in a way that I stop what I’m suppose to be doing. For example, in my scenario above, I stopped reading for my exam.. something I needed to be doing.

Let me clarify that this doesn’t mean that you’re crazy, or stupid or whatever. I happen to attend one of the most well known universities, with a very competitive GPA. I actually had a Pharmacy School interview today where they assured me that I was more than qualified. So, it doesn’t mean you’re stupid. It just means, that maybe you’re different? I don’t really know.

I hope to learn more about this and know of ways to manage it. As of for now, I try to maintain myself occupied. I mean occupied and in actively doing something that requires me to move and be active. If I sit and try to read a book for a long time.. I will probably day dream. But, if I’m let’s say talking with friends, hanging out, watching a movie or whatevs, it doesn’t happen. It’s weird… But, yeahh. Just thought I’d share this with you all.. In case you’re suffering or think you’re suffering from this.

Good Day.

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My Art Projects

This year I decided to take an Art class for the very first time in my life and I absolutely love it! Even though it does take a good bit of my time, I get this amazing feeling inside when I see a blank piece a paper, turn into something beautiful (:

This was my first project:

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And, this is a rough sketch of the one I am currently working on:

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So I know I am a beginner, but I’ll learn with time. Ha Feel free to critique! I’d love to hear what you think of them (:

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Find your balance in life

If you are a dedicated student, like yours truly, (haha no i’m just kidding) you know that there are decisions to be made at where you stand with the world.

Now, that I am advancing into professional or graduate school, I am realizing that I really cannot have everything. Has any of you heard the saying, “In college you have to pick two of the three: Studies, Sleep/Rest, or Social Life? ’cause you can’t have them all.”

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Well, looking back, sophomore year was definitely my craziest college year ever. I “tried” to juggle all three choices, but in reality I had chosen Studies and Social Life until my body threw the white towel. That’s when I shifted my choices to Rest and Social Life, I know, not the wisest decision. But at that time, that was the “cool” thing to do. Go out and have fun!

Now that I’m finishing, my mentality is somewhere else, it has a vision. It has future goals. Therefore, I have chosen Studies and Rest/Sleep. In reality, having a social life is great but is definitely time consuming. Therefore, I deleted my facebook, twitter, and instagram! I now have a lot more time to focus on my classes and on myself. I get my sufficient hours of sleep and even have thrown working out in my schedule. I work out three times a week for about an hour, sleep about seven hours a day, in school about four hours a day plus the extra 4-5 hours I spend outside of class doing homework, and finally I work 14 hours per week. Sounds like a busy life doesn’t it? Well it is.

Everything seemed to be going great! Until, Mr. Loneliness decided to arrive. Lately, I have been feeling pretty lonely even though I have roommates, coworkers, and student mates during classes, but it’s not the same. Everyone has a life of their own. Ever since I stopped socializing, I haven’t really kept in touch with many of my “friends.” I sometimes even wonder if this loneliness is depressing me? I got invited to a few parties tonight, but in true honesty, I didn’t even want to get out of bed. Yeahhh, crazy stuff huh? How you can feel lonely, yet when you’re invited to something, you decline?? I am going crazy over here. hahaha

But enough of my depressing story! The point I am trying to make is that, even though you feel like you have only so many options, you can make an option to balance yourself with all of the options. The key word is “balance”. Did you guys get that? B A L A N C E. They say too much of anything is not good, so don’t try to overload yourself with something. Have a little bit of everything. Except if you’re studying for a test or something. In that case you better be studying your butt off to do well! Just remember that education is important, but not everything.

Now that I have experienced both of the far ends, I’m going to try to work out my balance in life.

– a quick comment I want to make is that, make sure that you are hanging out with the right people though. I feel like maybe that’s why this is happening to me. I’m trying to stay away from the “bad” crowd who will encourage me, or influence me to do things that are not “right”. So, surround yourself with people that will bring out the best in you.

To conclude this lovely story full of advice, if you are going through a similar struggle, I just want you know that it is okay. We will go through rough times in life, but you just have to toughen up and keep on going and find a solution to the problem.

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